You can't spell disappointment without me.


I like stuff. I'm into things.

COOL NEW HACK TO GET MORE ICING FOR YOUR TOASTER STRUDEL

toasterstrudel:

  1. Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
  2. Marry them and start a family
  3. Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
  4. Make them strudel with no icing
  5. They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
  6. Take all six packets for yourself
  7. Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster

(via memewhore)

My mom called my doctor and said to him “What’s the most accurate measurement for weighing?”
The doctor said “An underwater weighing test”
And just like that, my mom said “Yes. When can my son and my daughter can take it?” and the doc said “Today at 2pm.”

So, I didn’t bother taking a shower and so did my sister too, so I had to get into a special swimming suit(tight pants…Ugh).

My sister said “Can I pull my hair down to a ponytail?” The doctor said “No.”
So my sister with her long, blonde hair went underwater with 8 seconds and had she must enjoyed it..but I didn’t.

—someone posted this copypasta on /b/ in like 2003 and whenever anyone asked for clarification on any one of the bizarre non-sequiturs in it he would just reply with shit like “it was an underwater weighing test” or “her hair got wet” and the thread got up to 200 replies before he got banned by two different mods for frustrating the shit out of everyone and this is still the golden standard i hold trolls to (via sexhaver)

(via memewhore)

kingjaffejoffer:

laughing at how CNN went into one of the looted businesses in Ferguson and spoke to the owner. the reporter started asking all these leading questions that were clearly setting up answers that expressed anger that their businesses were broken into. 

The owner was like “actually I just want justice for Mike Brown im not worried about material things”

(via memewhore)

vinebox:

Never gets old

(via memewhore)

laughhard:

In a video game there would definitely be something hidden behind this wall

laughhard:

In a video game there would definitely be something hidden behind this wall

(via memewhore)